The Bullshit Observer

Barak Obama and the Arab Question

Republican campaign worker Gayle Quinnell, 75, says she compiled 3-pages of information at her local library in Shakopee that supports the assertion that Barak Obama is an Arab - a classification that she apparently equates with being Muslim (even though one is an ethnicity and the other is a religion.) So she asked McCain about it. McCain says in short, "Not true." But in an astounding act of willfull ignorance, she still believes it is true.

In other news, Rensselaer County in upstate New York printed ballots with the name Barak Osama on them. "Oh whoops," they said. "Totally just an honest typo." Of course, dear reader, I'm sure it was an honest typo. As you can see on your keyboard, the "s" and the "b" are right, um, next to....uh, never mind. You can tell Rensselaer County what you think of their little "mistake" over here.

Clearly the ignorant, white-trash, fear-based, bigot voter demographic is really the GOP's for the taking. You don't even have to pander to them. Basically, anyone who relies on Jeff Foxworthy to tell them whether they're a redneck, is going McCain/Palin for sure.

This just in: it's actually McCain whose citizenship is at issue. Here's the video on that

The Palin and The Probe

Originally Sarah Palin had welcomed the troopergate probe and said that she would happy cooperate with it. But once she became the GOP's VP candidate, she was not so welcoming. See how she did that? She got the probes hopes up and then totally dissed the probe, just like she dissed the poor 'ol bridge to nowhere. She sort of slammed the door in the poor confused probe's face. Said, "Thanks but no thanks, Probe." So what was the poor probe to do?  The probe did the only thing probes know how to do.

It probed anyway.

Now the probe, after completing all the probing, found that she illegally abused her power as Governor when she, the first dude, and her staffers made a total of 19 phone calls pressuring Alaska's Public Safety Commissioner Walt Monegan to fire their former brother-in-law. Why so many phone calls? Well, apparently the guy wouldn't take no for an answer. He kept expainin' to Palin' that, no, it's not legal to discipline a guy and then later fire him for the same reason without new evidence. But they kept askin' cuz they didn't get their way. Sound like anyone we know? Cough Bush Cough.

But aside from knowingly and willfully breaking the law (laws are so inconvenient, doncha know) there's the total debacle that followed. You see, when Palin' went to replace 'ol Walt Monegan she chose a guy named Chuck Kopp whom she knew from her campaign. Chuck was from Kenai and allegedly big into the whole sexual harrassment game. In fact, he had been reported several times. Nice vetting. Well, when the pesky mainstream media got ahold of that one, well, they were like flies on rotting moose meat. Kopp resigned 14 days later. Then, and here is the really wierd part, he gets a $10,000 severance package. Now, I don't know how it works up there in Ahhlaska, but where I'm from, you don't get severence when you quit. You get a handshake and a wave. But up there in in Oil Rich Alaska apparently your letter of resignation works like a check. Not only that, but in Chuck's case they didn't treat it as wages. It was a lump sum treated like a 1099 in exchange for agreeing not to sue the goverment. Hmmm.

Poor Monegan, by the way, didn't get a thing for his 38 years of service but a box to put his shit in. Except he did get the probe. And the probe got him a little justice - and a nice running start at the wrongful termination suit. 

Palin Making No Sense

Sarah Palin finally granted an interview this week. Reporters asked why it is she's been invoking the name of 1960s-era radical William Ayers in her criticisms of Sen. Obama. 

It's a simple question. Not a trick question.

Her response, according to the AP:

"It's relevant to connect that association he has with Ayers, not so much he as a person Ayers, but the whole situation and the truthfulness and the judgment there that you must question if again he's not being forthright in all of his answers," Palin said. "It makes you wonder about the forthrightness, the truthfulness of the plans he's telling Americans with regards to the economic recovery."

I think what she's trying to say there is that Ayers is not to be trusted, and since Obama knew Ayers, Obama's plans for economic recovery may be bogus. Which, when you think about it, makes perfect sense.

Yes it does! Yes it does! Yes it does infinity.

By the way, a piece of toast with Palin's likeness burned into it just sold on eBay for $31.00. God bless America.

You Can Kiss Circuit City Goodbye

About a year and a half ago I reported that Circuit City had laid off 3,500 workers that their management had claimed were over-compensated (at a paltry $15/hr) and replaced them with cheaper labor. They offered to those workers the same job at lower wages. I predicted that their customer service was about to go from  completely unhelpful to the retail equivalent of garden gnomes.

Yet management guru's applaud the move and predicted that more companies would follow suit.

"If lower-cost labor is available, it's the right thing to do. They're not a charity," says Francie Dalton of Columbia, Md., president of Dalton Alliances, a management consultancy. "If it was your business and you have lower-cost labor available, you should do the same thing."

Six months ago I reported that their stock had since taken a nose dive.

Since that time they've lost contracts, missed out on a merger with Blockbuster, had their value go down by 87%, and have had manufacturers bail on them. Now Circuit City is about to become Circuit ghost town. That is to say, they're going under.

And I say, "Good." Any company that doesn't realize that they sell goods to people, not stock to investors, deserves to go out of business. Goodbye Circuit City and let that be a lesson to you Francie Dalton.

Ad For McCain Palin

Not sure which one represents which

McCain: The irritable gambler

A story is in full circulation about an incident at a craps table in Puerto Rico involving John McCain and his evil twin: Senator Hothead. It's from Jeff Dearth, a media investment banker, and it goes something like this:

Apparently there is some kind of rule or tradition in craps that everyone’s hands are supposed to be above the table when the dice are about to be thrown. McCain—“very likely distracted by one of the many people who approached him that evening,” Jeff says charitably—apparently was violating this rule. A small middle-aged woman at the table, apparently a “regular,” reached out and pulled McCain’s arm away. I’ll let Jeff take over the story:

“McCain immediately turned to the woman and said between clenched teeth: ‘DON’T TOUCH ME.’ The woman started to explain...McCain interrupted her: ‘DON’T TOUCH ME,’ he repeated viciously. The woman again tried to explain. ‘DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU’RE TALKING TO?’ McCain continued, his voice rising and his hands now raised in the ‘bring it on’ position. He was red-faced. By this time all the action at the table had stopped. I was completely shocked. McCain had totally lost it, and in the space of about ten seconds. ‘Sir, you must be courteous to the other players at the table,’ the pit boss said to McCain. “DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? ASK ANYBODY AROUND HERE WHO I AM.” the story goes on and on...

The man's a menace. Even conservative Senator Thad Cochran of Mississippi has said, "He is erratic. He is hotheaded. He loses his temper and he worries me." But that's not really the point. The author of the story notes an important fact about this that should be a concern to any voter. And that is not the irrepressible anger he displayed and the way that he totally lost his shit for being merely touched by someone.

It's the arrogance.

If you are to assess America's perception in the world truthfully, you will see that the LAST THING we need is a personification of the arrogance for which we are seen.

Yes, we do need a strong President. But we need a controlled one. We need a strong President, but a reasonable one. We need a strong President, but one not full of hubris.

McCain may have Obama on experience. But I would humbly assert that Obama has him on wisdom and temperance. 

Get To Know A McCain Spokesman

I was reading an article today about the campaign where Joe Biden calls McCain a sidekick, not a maverick. A good line, I thought - and an accurate portrayal too, given the record. Ben Porritt of the McCain camp is quoted in the article as saying that neither Biden nor Obama have challenged their own party - as, it's implied, McCain has.

It got me thinking, "Who are you Ben Porritt?"

Turns out Ben Porritt is a guy that JUST got out of business school like a few months ago. He lives in LA and appears to work in LA and DC. 

Ben graduated undergrad from Bradley University a mere six years ago. Since then he's been holding down three jobs at one time AND going to business school at USC - according to his Linkedin page. Not only has he been working at the White House as "Executive Assisnace," *(apparently they don't teach spelling at Bradley or USC) for the past six years, he's been Press Secretary to the Majority Leader for the past three (for DeLay) and a Vice President, Partner and Senior Strategist at a PR firm called "Outside Eyes." Somewhere over the last six years since college he's also been a Bush/Cheney spokesman twice AT THE SAME TIME. It's true. See for yourself. I don't know how in the world he pulled that off. I've honestly never heard of anyone being able to do one job twice simultaneously. Maybe he has a twin...or two.

But there's more to Porritt than his veritable spectrum of careers in the White House. “I was raised to be a Republican,” he said in an interview with The Commercial News of Danville, Illinois. “I followed the 1988 election like an adult. I was only 7 years old."

That's when the letter writing began, “I wrote the first President Bush a letter and he answered it … Well, he probably didn’t answer it himself, but he acknowledged it,” Porritt said. “It made me feel as if the president knew who I was.” Now Porritt resides over the Vice Presidential detail of the McCain/Palin ticket's communications strategy. "It's like a dream come true," Porritt sorta said.   

I'll be sure to update this when Ben or his pals stumble on this little expose and he fixes his Linkedin profile.

Own The New Sarah Palin CD - Operators are standing by

Vice Presidential Debates - With Truth Added By Comedians

Thanks to Georg Kuhn for sending. You can actually hear some members of the audience laughing so hard that they're crying. Ironic.

Maverick, Maverick, Maverick. Say it with us. M.A.V.E.R.I.C.K.

According to the blog "Burnin" the meaning of the term "maverick" can be traced back to an actual guy named Maverick

In the 1800s, Samuel Augustus Maverick went to Texas and became known for not branding his cattle. He was more interested in keeping track of the land he owned than the livestock on it, Ms. Maverick said; unbranded cattle, then, were called “Maverick’s.” The name came to mean anyone who didn’t bear another’s brand.

In the case of McCain/Palin the term "Maverick" has actually become their brand. Which is kind of like a comedian calling himself "The Funny Guy." It's really something that other people use to describe you, not something that should be a self-description.

(Thanks to Adpulp for the Burnin link and to my sister Jessica for ad legend Jeff Goodby's Obama 08 ad below.)

And some new proof that Senator McCain is 174 years old.

McCain Vs. Obama #1: Taxes

This is the first in a series of semi-serious comparisons of the candidates on the issues. You remember the issues. That's what people would be talking about if they weren't so wrapped up on the media-generated drama about old pastors, number of houses, and stuffed moose-heads. I made that last one up. 

TAXES:

Prologue: The short answer is that no matter who wins, your taxes are likely going down. Mainly because the economy is choking on a pretzel and it's a very delicate time. But here are the details.

McCain Plan: The rich would pay much less, the poor and middle-class would pay a bit less, and the federal deficit would grow, according to a study by an indpendent, non-partisan group Urban-Brookings Tax Policy Center. McCain would raise the dependent exemption from $3,500 to $7,000, set the death tax at 15% for estates above $5 million, keep the capital gains tax where it is, and cut the corporate tax rate from 35% to 25%. McCain's tax plan would cost the US treasury $3.7 trillion and increase the deficit by $600 billion.

Obama Plan: Everyone pays less except the rich and anyone else making over $250,000/yr, with the bulk of the savings handed to the lower class. His plan features a $4,000 credit per child in college. Seniors who earn less than $50,000 would pay no income tax. Obama would leave the corporate tax rate at 35% but raise the captial gains tax to 20%. Obama's plan would cost the U.S. Treasury $2.7 trillion (one trillion less than McCain's) and return $700 billion to America's bottom line. 

WINNER: Tie (but vote McCain if you're very rich). As I mentioned, chances are that your taxes are going down regardless of who wins. McCain's plan, as all Republican plans puts more pressure on the deficit and less pressure on the rich and corporations.The problem with that is that it's not sustainable. You simply can't consume 6% more than you produce forever. As Paul Volker expalins, "The United States is absorbing about 80 percent of the net flow of international capital. And at some point, both central banks and private institutions will have their fill of dollars."

I am also skeptical of McCain's trickle-down approach: letting the uber rich keep more of their money in hopes that it will eventually filter down through personal spending doesn't really work. They just get richer. Greenspan doesn't like McCain's plan for this reason and Paul Volker (the 12th Fed Chairman) has outright endorsed Obama's plan for the country.

Greenspan (a Republican and lifelong friend of McCain's) said the widening income disparity among Americans is a "very serious'' issue, and requires both raising the pay of lower-income workers and reducing higher incomes.

That said, I like McCain's child-tax credit because it puts money back in mom and dad's pocket and I do believe that he's a fiscal conservative at heart. Plus, there is something to be said for being gentle on corporate taxes at a time when team USA's competitiveness is, er, shaky.

I like Obama's attempt at shoring up the gap between rich and poor as long as it doesn't extend into spending sprees at the governement's social program mega-store. Capitialism must be mindful that it needs to keep most everyone IN the game in order to survive. As for capital gains, the 5 percentage points that Obama wants to add isn't terribly significant if you look at it from a historical perspective. Heck, Regan charged more.

Well, How'd Sarah Palin Do?

Bob Blathermout: For the post debate wrap up, let's go to Dirk McSpinmeister, our bullshit corespondant. Dirk?

Dirk McSpinmeister: Well Bob, she certainly dd not behave like a complete idiot per se - as many people had anxiously anticipated. As I understand it, the bar for idiocy is somewhere in the vicinity of drooling on your blouse and mumbling incoherently. We had a little bit of the latter, but not much of the former. So a big win for the Republicans.

Bob Blathermouth: Right... and what did you think of Biden's ability to keep up with her?

Dirk McSpinmeister: Well look, Biden did fine too. But while Joe Biden demonstrated an easy command of the facts and an intimate knowledge of the complex issues and challenges facing this great nation, Sarah Palin stood out in her ability to store some key details in her short-term memory and draw from them at somewhat appropriate moments - which was what the Republican voters were really hoping to see.

Bob Blathermouth: Which candidate, would you say, connected more with the audience?

Dirk McSpinmeister: Well, it's hard to compete with Sarah Palin on forced folksy charm, Bob - though Joe made a nice stab with his "personal story of loss and sacrifice."  But more than that, she has a ton of momentum. The Couric interview did wonders for her in demonstratng that uniquely American quality for not knowing much about politics and history. That was a key test for the voting public and I think she more than passed.

Bob Blathermouth: Thanks Dirk, that's all we have time for.

Dirk McSpinmeister: Thank you, Bob.

It's Palin Bingo Night! Yay!

Quick! The VP debate is in only two hours. Get your bingo cards now. Download them and then print:

Download card1.pdf

Download card2.pdf

Download card3.pdf

Download card4.pdf

Here's how you play: 1) Whenever Sarah Palin says a word or phrase in one of your boxes, check it off. 2) Check 5 boxes in any straight or diagonal line, you win. 3) Center Box is free. 4) Score extra points by filling in ALL of the boxes on your card.

Have Fun!!

The Bullshit Observer

(via palinbingo.com)

Ask Sarah Palin A Question

Sarah-cuda Palin is about the hardest person to get an interview with in the country right now. But that doesn't mean you can't ask her a question and get a likely response. There's a new site that lets you ask a question that you might pose to Ms. Palin and the answers are computer generated based on     probabilities calculated from Sarah Palin's actual speeches and interviews. Here's a good example:

Q: What is the role of the US in Iraq and Afghanistan?

  A: Afghanistan will lead to further security of our economy. Helping the it's got to get caught up in this nation at this time. It is for no more politics as usual, that embracing of the U.S. domestic supply of energy, that I just gave you. But, again, we've got to keep our eyes on Russia, under the leadership there. I do agree with the flow and just assuming that the VP does every day? I think the corruption on Wall Street. That's to blame. And that is needed to help us, diplomatic pressure. We need to reform government. We have got to be allowed in their benefit, also, a mutually beneficial relationship for us all to be considered also.

Huh? Exactly. Try it for yourself, it's good fun.

In other news, Obama is up 4 percentage points 49 to 40 over McCain in a new CBS poll. McCain calls it quits in Michigan. Troopergate is reveailing new information about pressure that Paln put on Harbor Adjusting Serivces to deny workers comp claim to her sister's ex husband as retribution for the bitter custody battle. And it looks like Clinton is partly to blame for the mortgage crisis.

Media Sources: Palin Reads "All of Them"

Couric: And when it comes to establishing your worldview, I was curious, what newspapers and magazines did you regularly read before you were tapped for this to stay informed and to understand the world?

Palin: I've read most of them, again with a great appreciation for the press, for the media.

Couric: What, specifically?

Palin: Um, all of them, any of them that have been in front of me all these years.

Couric: Can you name a few?

Palin: I have a vast variety of sources where we get our news, too. Alaska isn't a foreign country, where it's kind of suggested, "Wow, how could you keep in touch with what the rest of Washington, D.C., may be thinking when you live up there in Alaska?" Believe me, Alaska is like a microcosm of America.